Dan & �Lucy Lu� Jiang came to visit us this afternoon. Their daughter, Alyson, had the same defect as Matthew. Alyson was in the bed next to Matthew�s and we became friends. We went out to dinner tonight and as we shared our child rearing experiences I was stuck by the similarities. Both Dan and I approached our child�s problem from a man�s analytical perspective. We each looked at the statistics & treatment options and decided then and there that our child would be fine. Lucy and Terri, on the other hand, were 180 degrees from us. They ignored reason and were led by their emotions. Lucy is a software engineer and thus is very analytical. But when it came to her child, she had all the same worries, guilty feelings, and �why me� thoughts as Terri. Terri and Lucy each recounted the same reactions to the doctors telling them this experience would make them stronger. �I don�t want to be strong�, they each thought, �I would rather be weak and have a healthy baby!� Dan and Lucy are great confidants because they know exactly what we�ve been through.